Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Five Years Ago Today

Five years ago today my best friend passed away. 
I miss Paul Williams. 
I miss the conversations about music, art, books. 
I miss the unending belief and support he had in my music. 
I miss him reading his latest writings to me. 
And i miss the physical connection that eventually fell away as he fell further into the complications from a traumatic brain injury.
I miss how much he loved and adored his son Alexander, and his two grownup sons Kenta and Taiyo.
It was a grand love, but not always an easy one.
Im still grateful for how he showed me how to love someone.
How to be an adult with car and health insurance.
How to cherish and feel cherished.
How to persevere with your art/music/writing with or without big (or any) bucks behind you. Paul kept writing even when he had no publisher. He said he "felt the readers reading" his words as he wrote them.
I miss the intellectual tango I could have with that amazing brain and way of thinking he had. Elastic. Like his furniture was not nailed down in the living room of life.


  1. Dear Cindy Lee,
    Thank you for this post and for this nice tribute to Paul. I live in a small town in British Columbia and a few years ago I found a copy of his book, Apple Bay, in a second-hand bookstore. It called out to be taken home, but sat on my bookshelf until a few weeks ago when I had the sudden urge to read it. It was the perfect time for me to read it; I found many of Paul's experiences and thoughts and questions about life to be similar to my own, and it brought me solace knowing someone else felt the same way I do. There are some moments in the book where he speaks directly to the reader, wondering who is out there reading his work, and at one point I had to laugh and give him a little wave. After finishing the book, I wondered where life took him after his sojourn in Apple Bay and I was pleased to learn of all of his accomplishments, but also saddened to learn of his passing. My sincere condolences for your loss, our loss, the world's loss. But perhaps the knowledge that his words live on, and continue to touch and inspire and teach people all around the world, will make you smile, and maybe even Paul himself will smile whereever he is. Many thanks, and love to you both.

  2. Merry Christmas,
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    Thank you,


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  4. Thank you for sharing your story and music