Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Journal Entry: September 1992

These are writings from my 1992 journal, five months after meeting Paul, and while writing the songs that became Garage Orchestra

Am I in love?
I'm afraid to admit I may be.
And he is so often on my mind.
Got a letter from him today, I like that.
hmm, wish he were here.
then again, when he is, there's little time
for music work. So much of our attention
being devoted to one another.
He is adorable, lovable, high strung,
a lot of nervous energy.
Mind on high speed. He self consciously
speaks in slower meter, keeping his voice low
and tries to make it pleasant. Which can come off,
well....self conscious. Then other times it sounds a little higher
and a little quicker and more nervous and sorta kid-like (almost) and it's
less controlled.
I like it better less controlled.
Sometimes, a controlled voice sounds a bit like a new age author reading
chapters from a positive thinking book at a meditation/prosperity consciousness raising seminar.
I don't trust those types.
A lot of white people try too hard.

(Ocean Beach, CA 1992)


  1. Your description of Paul reminds me of me. Touching CLB.

  2. That's sweet of you Robert. Though I was a little rough on him about the voice...I'm quite sure I was trying to find *reasons* to not be falling in love...

  3. understood. really falling in love overtakes reasoning. i like that.

  4. It does overtake reasons...and yet...I was speaking w a woman this morning who said she married her husband because he was a calm place to go unlike the inlovement she'd had w others in the past, said she couldn't trust that wild chemical feeling of in love. Now that is a reasoning i can't really understand, romantic that i am. Paul and I could share inlovement and serenity, that's the ticket me thinks...