Journal Entry: September 1992

These are writings from my 1992 journal, five months after meeting Paul, and while writing the songs that became Garage Orchestra

Am I in love?

I'm afraid to admit I may be.

And he is so often on my mind.

Got a letter from him today, I like that.

hmm, wish he were here.

then again, when he is, there's little time

for music work. So much of our attention

being devoted to one another.

He is adorable, lovable, high strung,

a lot of nervous energy.

Mind on high speed. He self consciously

speaks in slower meter, keeping his voice low

and tries to make it pleasant. Which can come off,

well....self conscious. Then other times it sounds a little higher

and a little quicker and more nervous and sorta kid-like (almost) and it's

less controlled.

I like it better less controlled.

Sometimes, a controlled voice sounds a bit like a new age author reading

chapters from a positive thinking book at a meditation/prosperity consciousness raising seminar.

I don't trust those types.

A lot of white people try too hard.

(Ocean Beach, CA 1992)