Tooth

Alexander got a mandolin recently and is just learning a few chords. We took it into his dads nursing home so he could show him how he's learned the G,C and D chords. He's playing them over a traditional song called Two Soldiers, performed by David Grisman and Jerry Garcia (you can almost hear them singing from Alexander's iPod).

I'm gonna be honest, it's getting harder to go in for visits. Emotionally, that is. This is a thing where Paul's never gonna get better. And that is a hard fact to face.

Today was especially hard, I noticed Paul had a tooth missing. An incisor, in the front and to the side, so not hard to miss. It broke me up. Last few times I've been in there I've helped him brush his teeth. All you have to do is give him a tooth brush with paste and let him spit into a bowl and rinse and spit, and then floss. But no one is giving him the brush and so he is falling apart.

This is hard stuff. We stayed for a while, I trimmed his fingernails, but I could hardly look at him without wanting to cry about that tooth. Like a little piece of history gone. And the nurses didn't even notice it was gone.

Alexander's ten now, he lost a tooth a week ago. He went to the dentist for the first time and had a glowing report, but a baby tooth had to come out. Then the tooth fairy came that night (geez 3 dollars!)...it's all about teeth. Some come and some go.

So I talked to the nurses at the home, and they will have a dentist come out. What can I say. Nothing will put the tooth back in and make Paul all better. Sometimes you just gotta accept what is, come rain or come shine.

I have a Care Meeting with the nursing home in a few weeks. I got to get my head on straight for this one, dentistry matters especially with someone that's not about to die in a year or so, he's 63 and gonna be here for a long while I suspect.

Sometimes it's about the feelings and there's no getting around that.