Saturday, February 9, 2013


Today we started Paul on hospice.

(who is Paul Williams...?  ) 

After many days of consulting with a dear friend of Paul's who works in the hospice industry and has seen Paul through his various stages of life (they once were girlfriend and boyfriend when they were teens in the 1960s), and after much deliberating and  wringing of hands, it seems like the right thing to do. 

Not that we have given up entirely on Paul's possible return to strength as the extra help from the kind people of hospice will oversee his care in a way that the nursing home doesn't have staff or training for (he will continue to live at the same nursing home and maybe with a little luck a new one soon). 

It's a 50/50 thing, maybe with the extra care Paul will rally and gain some weight and return to a baseline he lived at a month or two ago (he's lost over 20 pounds in the past month). Or, maybe this will ease his way into that next passage of life.

No he is not on a morphine drip or anything like that. I know I thought that was what hospice was all about, (give them drugs and let them go out on a cloud), but this is not the case, at present with Paul, and is only advised when all else has failed. He is on an anti anxiety medication to help him with the fear and agitation he has when he is being dressed or helped. 

It's a very hard time for us his family, extended and otherwise. It was a hard decision to make, putting him on hospice. But it's equally hard to see him withering and not getting any extra help, at least hospice can help him with some comfort. And maybe with some luck, he will get stronger, and start eating and gaining weight. Right now it is all in Paul's and in Gods hands...

Paul and Alexander 2002


  1. Love is doing the difficult thing, but knowing it is making the person you love more comfortable -- and giving them the best chance for that miracle.

    You have inspired me through your journey. You are grace personified, and when it gets hard, know it's hard because that's how much you love Paul. Even more importantly, that's how much you were loved back.

    You're in my prayers & thoughts,

  2. Thank you Holly. I can feel the thoughts/prayers now...

  3. I am thinking of you. I wish peace for both of you.

  4. Paul will also be in my prayers. Thank you Cindy, for all your care. I'll continue to remember him smiling and saying that "All Shall Be Well."

  5. sending you, paul and alex some love and peace, cindylee.