I Should Be Doing Something Instead I'm Doing This

While some say they are afraid to look on the Infinite

the great big story we play out,

Some of us here have found a home

and the infinite is our window out.

* * *

in a trip to the Sierra Nevada's

at a very young age

my mother drove us east of Delano

and I became a little girl lost in the snow...

wandering away from mommy

lured by damned curiosity

and down a snowy hill

and past an old wood house

past a road

'til new snow began to fall

and down some more

and she knew she was alone.

she knew this for the first time:

she must awaken, become more.

and her own engines began to fire

her mind sputtered, sparked, started

then hummed

and she was afraid

She was in a place She'd never been before:

it was silent as snow

it was LOUD, with many voices

it was strangely familiar.

It was home.

and she turned around

retracing her steps

finding her mommy standing with nervous park rangers

her mommy, so long ago,

her mommy, who seemed like a stranger.

first secret. welcome home.

(Dec.5,2010)