Thursday, February 21, 2013

Listening to Ray Charles

The Rhino boxset: Genius & Soul. So much feeling in that voice it brings up strong sensations: memories of childhood and one of the songs I liked on my dads favorite radio station was Ramblin Rose. Driving down the Grapevine on Highway 99 and that voice cracklin over the Bakersfield radio station.

Paul sleeps a lot now. He has the rare "lucid" moments where both his eyes are open and you feel him listening and then sometimes he will smile. Now he mostly wants to be left alone: no shower no shave no washing the face and rarely eating. He is down to 111 pounds. That pretty much says it all.

Yesterday the hospice nurse said to me  "He doesnt want to be here anymore." It is his choice now, to be here or to go.

And the cd plays on, with Ray wailin out of the plastic speaker.."I dont need no doctor! All I need.. baby c'mon home"

Sent from my iPhone


  1. Hi Cindy - i'm a fan of your music, and i've read all of Paul's "dylan" books. they are extraordinary. From these connections i ended-up reading your blog.

    Also, my father was in a nursing house for a few months one time, so I know a little of what you are going through. It's such a difficult thing. Nobody can know unless they've been in the same situation.

    this blog is a nice. i'm sure other people in similar circumstances find some solace reading it.

    Tell Paul 'thank you' from me for his writing.


  2. Cindy,
    Have been a fan of you and Paul sperately for a long time and have been reading your blog faithfully for a year or so now. Please know that my thoughts and good wishes are with you and your son and Paul.Thank you both for everything you have given me and I'm sure many other.
    Mike Saccoliti Brooklyn N.Y.

  3. Cindy,

    I've been quietly reading your blog for quite a while. I wish I had something helpful to say. Or do. All I can say is, thank you for being there with him.

  4. It's hard enough to expose feelings through music. To do it in a blog is 100 times harder. I don't know how you do it, along with everything else. A tip of the hat to strong women like you everywhere, Cindy.

  5. For Paul, find your way home, old friend. Cindy, you may not know it, but you are an inspiration.